When a year teaches you that it’s moments that comprise our years,we start living, improving, growing in the moments. Our celebrations don’t tend to give tributes to the coming year but it contemplates over what has passed by, what lessons it bestowed upon us or slapped across our faces. Yes we are knocked down many a times during an year, we are supposed to celebrate those stand up again moments. Every time we defeat life at worst we make it to the life at best. If life doesn’t give you happy moment, take a chance at giving life some joyous time. We both make contribution to the universe, that is our life and we -the self. Sometimes it’s the self alone maybe . Isn’t it?
Avid Literature students, I think ,at one point or another always have that impulse to be a writer. Well talking about myself i have at times mused at the lofty career of novel writing. When i read how a story reveals upon writers like some divine interventions I feel the goosebumps and I just drool at the lure of writing if nothing else i can do. But dreams and charm aside, I realised that apart from metaphysical musings , writing is such an inhumanly godly endeavour which not only requires your moment of observations and thoughts but it wants you to sign a charter with your soul . Its a bondage you can never rid yourself off from. When you listen a writer speak you realize how immortal the charter is even more immortal than their souls. You find it hard to weigh how much of them they have bled upon papers and how much more they retain within them. It seems like it would take an eternity to get them done and still it would not be enough. And sometimes it seems like they are living a curse as if they have to sap out their own life-blood to let others live. It appears like universe can only survive if they keep writing. I can say no more that ,its not just a career its a creation and creation only happens when something break and bleed within ,like a seed beneath soil or like a child’s birth; rightly quoted as, “Watching a writer write, is like watching God create galaxies”. Only those chosen ones become the best writers, who so fearfully assert to themselves, Okay it’s done, Iam giving all of myself into the universe.
Since very young we have been fed with the idea of adding on. We learn to add more toys to be happy. We are programmed to add more and more skills to be successful and thus rich. But we are never told how powerful and empowering the word ‘subtract’ is. Its subtraction that makes life satisfying and contented. When we learn to subtract negative people,emotions,habits desires that don’t contribute to our well being its then we learn the mystifying power of frugality and the empowerment that comes by shedding the burden off our shoulders and souls.
One beautiful year!
So finally the year 2016, coming to an end.It was one beautiful year of my life.wait. The best one. Still few days left but honestly I can’t compare my whole year with remaining few days even if they are to be the worst days, I can’t be that ungrateful for the year it was. I am a kind of extreme saddistic sort of person. And year that gave me so much happiness needs to be pen down. Though I am a pedulum girl who keeps on swerving from being happy to being depressed but what all the depressive life I had live previously , this year has changed that. At this age of late 20s i kind of lived a fairytale, all my wishes succumbed in the face of serenity this year brought . Sort of fairytale .This year gave me courage to listen to what my heart was saying. Doing what I want to do. Being happy. And then I realised its not a single person or single life event that changes our life. Its actually learning.Our experience of knowing what’s important for us ,of knowledge of ourselves and life process, life doesn’t come to halt by single happening . Life is interconnected with good and bad happenings. Not only happy moments are called life celebrating life but the truth is we forget to celebrate life when we are in pain. Celebrating life is name of reflecting about it as well. And living in the moment or rather living in the happiness or pain of the moment . I don’t know what new year will bring. It might completely distort what i believe today. My insight now might not be useful tomorrow but I thought to pen it down cuz i want to read and reread it later in my life. And if next year happens to be the worst I want to write that too. I want to keep record of all my insights good or bad. Fingers crossed.
The haunted story
We can give our daughters confidence to do whatever they want!
Whenever i used to see a woman driver driving a car it got me so excited , i gaze her with esteemed admiration. It seemed to be so empowering and so independent. This word independence with passing age becoming my most favourite. oh yes Let’s get back to driving.
I told my parents i want to learn driving, but this time like every other time they lovingly despised its quite technical for you to learn it, adding to this is the unmanageable traffic conditions, you wont be able to deal with it. And with equal lovable affirmation i agreed. A reminder beeped in my mind i had always been a very docile frail girl. How would i be able to very docile frail girl. How would i be able to very docile frail girl. How would i be able to turn steering wheel with my fragile wrists. I have always been confused when it comes to take decisions how on earth iam going to face the problems of facing traffic wardens and irritable riders and not to forget the bumpy roads. I quit. I was not sure that i will be able to drive confidently or not, but one thing i was very sure about that i won’t be able to get adjust in that family of strangers, i knew i wont be able to get along with that person i barely know, never in my life i ventured into developing my culinary skills it never interests me,i can find no way to get excited about getting married i could find no incentive. I told them but not clearly cuz i was never clear in decisions. They with same loveable words took me to confidence, no you can do that, it’s not as difficult as you are thinking. We have confidence in you. And i agreed. Since then word independence has been my most favourite word. I wish i could made it most favourite possession of my daughter one day by saying yes you can have it ,i believe you can have it.
When standing under the thundering clouds you hear the rains and storms within silences . When brimmed amidst solitary quietness you absorb even the shadows of wheezing breezes , when barren enough beside a forgotten painting you brush stroke the canvas with the unseen colours you form with edges of your soul , that moment the universe fall in love with you and you melt with its every breath . The moments you cant see with your waking eyes but can assimilate wit the fingers of your existence.